Were You Lying?
I’ve been struggling deeply for the past week, I’ve been struggling with the same feeling I had during Alex Jones’ trial in Texas. I am bipolar, I am prone to mania, I’m prone to delusions of grandeur, so, in general, any time I think I can see something that the rest of the world cannot, I assume I am in the wrong.
Sometimes, I am suspicious that the rest of the world can, in fact, see what I see, and they are gaslighting me. I’m sure I’m right sometimes. But seeing the world through that lens will make you crazy, so no matter what the circumstances, it’s wiser to let it go.
But now, as in the trial, I know the rest of the world sees what I see and I know that the world is gaslighting me.
What’s more, what’s worse for my psyche, is that I know that when I talk to the TV, so to speak, the TV can hear me. I am fucking loud. I am not insane. I am not manic. I am not delusional.
All of you are out of your fucking minds.
Democracy is on the ballot
Every time I’ve been told that democracy is on the ballot in my lifetime, going back to Gore, what I’ve actually been told is to shut up about my principles or whatever bullshit I was talking about, and do what I’m told by people who are my betters. Despite my protestations and objections, I have done what I was told.
And now here we are.
The situation we were in was not foretold, it was obvious and inevitable. The number of times I pathetically, half-heartedly advocated for not voting for Biden was enough to be screamed at by well-meaning people. I understand why you thought the way you did - that’s why I always followed along - and despite being a cynical crank, I hoped you were right.
You were wrong. Say that to yourself, out loud, say that to other people, out loud. I was wrong. What I believed to be true, was in fact not true. And what I told other people was not true, is.
If you believe Biden should not run for President, then you must also believe that he should not be President right now. There is no difference between him being president another six months or six months and four years. He’s 80, if you believe he’s capable now, but not at 85, you’re a fucking idiot.
Now that you know that, and you are no longer a fucking idiot about that, then you need to also accept this - this was a foreseeable problem that is your fault - in regards to being the President of the United States, there’s no difference between 80 and 75, and if you think there is, then you’re a fucking idiot. Which means Biden shouldn’t have been President in the first place.
But here we are anyways. Not because of the right. Not because of the far right fascists about to take over the country. They are not at fault here.
You are. And until you take responsibility for believing in not true things and change, you will continue to do the same things, lose the same way, and torment everyone in the process.
Democracy is on the ballot
If you are a Democrat into electoral politics, then you are wrong about everything and you always have been. We are not in a new situation. We are not in a brand new apocalypse. This is America. We are in America. The America that committed several genocides, so many that unlike most genocidal states, we even admit we’ve committed some of them. The America that carpet bombs union protests. The America that murdered Fred Hampton and doesn’t care.
We are in this America because of one truth, an unspoken truth. In this America, if it’s between the Right or the Left, the Center chooses the Right 100% of the time. Because America has always been a fascist state.
This is why I feel like I did in Austin, I feel like this because I know you see it now. It was on the TV. I know, because I was also on the TV. I am not yelling at the TV from my couch. I am there, at the table, with you, screaming into your fucking ear. And I will not go away.
We are at the crisis point. Now is the moment to decide. If Democracy is on the ballot, then the center needs to suck it up, and do what you’re told. You’re going to have to say to yourself, I was wrong, and what I think we should do is not good. Because what I think we should do is not good, I will do what I am told by other people who think different.
This is both a fact and a threat. The lesser of two evils argument doesn’t work anymore. Even if you still think it’s valid, the law of diminishing returns is bigger than all of us. If Biden doesn’t step down, then he will lose, and if Democracy is on the Ballot. You must admit you were wrong and change.
But you were all lying. This was never an honest conversation. I went along, I did what I was told because I knew that I could be wrong and you could be right. There was and never will be a hint of reciprocation on this front. I know that now. We will burn not because of the right, but because you cannot change.
You can’t even admit you were wrong about a President literally dying in front of your eyes.
You have chosen this path, you have chosen Donald Trump.
I have respect for Republicans. Right now they are saying they are going to turn the country into a theocracy because that’s what they want to do. They are being honest with me.
Until I can say that about the Democrats, they will all lose. That’s a threat and a promise.
In the meantime, if you’re on the Left:
Run.
We gotta go. They’re going to fucking kill us, folks.
